Sometimes I want my old life back.

I read an acquaintance's friends blog the other day. It made me a little crazy. It made me jealous. It made me envious. It made me feel inadequate of my own dreams.

I am perfectly happy with my life. Except sometimes. Like when I let other people's lives via social media get in my head and stay there for a little too long.

I want to sit here and blog without jostling a baby on my lap. I want to enjoy a bottle of wine over a slow dinner with Robby without having to consider pumping or nursing. I'd say 2 bottles, but I know I couldn't handle that much liquor these days. I want to sleep through a night. I want a sitter to fit into our budget daily like no big deal so I can work out or just go have a macchiato by myself. I want to sit on a hillside and watch gorilla's play gloriously in their own habitat (you'd have to read one of the earlier mentioned blogs or accidentally be sucked into listening to my daily rants to understand that one). I want to board an airplane by myself.

But wait, I chose my life. Really, no really, I do love my life. One day I'll have two grown girls and all I'll want is to have one of them be the size they are right now so I can jostle them on my lap as I try to blog.

I want to be more patient.